Happy Holidays

To my dearest friends,

Merry Christmas and have a fabulous new year \(^o^)/

The end of the year is always a good time to reflect on what we've achieved, experienced and gained. The good times, the bad times and the frustrating times, all makes life what it is.
The holiday season is also a time to bond with family and friends. It's a time for getting together and celebrating with one another.
This year there were many teenage suicides in Japan. The meaning of life has been most under watched. We need to respect the life we've been given. We are all unique in our own defined ways. Even twins, though identical in looks have different personalities. Respect one another, even if you don't like the person, there is no reason to bring pain into their lives. Simply just walk away.

Wishing 2007 will be even better than 2006. Create rainbows of memories each day...may all your days be special.

xoxo

26

It's my birthday today!!!

Happy birthday to me...
Happy birthday to me...
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeee...
Happy birthday to me...
Hip hip horray \(^o^)/
Hip hip horray \(^o^)/

Is cold....>_< I'm wearing many many layers...the school is crazy for not turning on the heater in this weather? I have no idea what they are waiting for?! More kids to get sick before turning on the heater?! Crying out loud, this is torture. (T_T)

One week to go before winter break! YaY! Can't wait. Not doing anything much in particular but am glad for the break. Many people have commented on me being a "good girl" lately because my car's been at home. Ha! I guess I have been lying low lately. Can't be bothered to do much. It's too cold to function. I want to be a bear and hibernate all through winter.

weekend

Last weekend was def. one to remember. The Kuma-gunners got together and held a Thanksgiving dinner at Richard's house. There were lots of yummy food, a huge turkey, and many salads and desserts. PLuS lots of alcoholic beverages :p We ate, we drank and we chatted into the wee hours of the morning... :)

Lindsay, Kim, Vicky and Niki. We had a great time doing the girly things in the city over mid-year.

winter

Vicky's just been in hibernation for the past few weeks/months?! Can't really remember... It just turned cold all over a sudden. There's snow on top of Mt. Ichifusa. Days just seem to roll into each other. Winter serves life no purpose, it's so dreary and depressing. Have to get out of this miserable state of mind.

Mid-Year conference was held over Thursday-Friday last week. It was interesting...seminars were boring as usual. Night life was as chaotic as usual. But at this conference Vicky met a very interesting character K. Funny how Vicky's never had the opportunity to speak to K.
K's very talented. Very envious of those who can do what Vicky can't. Which is alot of things ... Vicky's birthday in 16 days!!! Time to celebrate v(^o^)v

flu

Vicky caught the flu (>_<) Today's DAY 6 ... man o man... Being sick sucks.
But makes you feel important and loved because so many people care about you when you're sick (^_^)

Hot soup, DVDs, bed rest! That should do the trick.

Forgot how cold it can be in Mizukami during winter...brrrrrr...it's cold.

Weekend

I'm heading off to Korea tomorrow. I'll be going away for three days/two nights. Because I didn't make the bookings for this trip, or planned where I'll be visiting and things like that, this whole trip seem to be so surreal. It's like I'm making it up inside my head. It's kind of easy and relaxing in a way...but being a leader type, I sort of want to know what's going on?! Anyways, it will be fun! I'm glad for this little get away...Need to plan my own trip for a little piece of haven in Decemeber.

Miyuki & Takashi's wedding 

7th Wedding

I went to my 7th wedding in Japan on Saturday.

Sakura - CHAMPIONS - v(^_^)v 

fitting in. 

During our dance...the formation is like a parade, we had to move 50m down the street. And we did it 3 times, with a 5mins break in between. 

Dance Battle 2006 - The girl on the picture is a team mate from last year -  

WE WON!!!!!!

It's been a while since I've updated...let me see what I have been up to...

Lately it's all about my dancing...Our dance group participated in our fourth DANCE BATTLE yesterday October 9th...this was my second and last time. Last year we received a Special Recognition Prize...it was nice to be recognised. But it felt even better this year because WE WON!!!!

Champions...feels so surreal. I still remember at the celebration party last year when I was having trouble deciding whether to stay or leave, one of my favorite dance friend said to me, why don't you stay so you can dance at the dance battle next year, instead of us calling you on the phone to tell you we won. It'll be so much better if you can be here to share the trophey and celebrate in person with us!!! And now his words came true. So, so happy. It was the first time in my life that I cried because I was so happy!!! Man, that feeling...it's still rushing through.

I'm beginning to experience alot of lasts here. I'm sad, but I'm also very grateful to all those people who have touched my life and made my time in Japan so so special. The best is yet to come :) 9 months left... Hope you're feeling as happy as I am...

me me me.... 

DISNEYLAND~(^o=)~~ 

Girls Weekend away v(^__^)v 

Shop-A-Holics...hehee 

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!!!! 

TOKYO

I'm back~ went away for the long weekend to Tokyo and Disneyland with my three girlfriends. It was so much fun. Spent way too much money, didn't get enough sleep, laughed so much that my sides were aching, and walked miles on end. We planned this trip around July, then went ahead and booked the tickets. The long weekend came and went...a little bit too fast.

We left Mizukami around 5am on Saturday morning, caught the first flight to Tokyo. Arrived in Tokyo around 9:30, by the time we hit our first shopping spot it was close to 11am. Our first stop was to Akihabara, Tomoko and Yuka wanted to buy digital cameras, we spent close to 2hours there just looking and comparing prices. It's a hard task, choosing the right camera...but at last they found what they wanted and now they're in the crowd (^_<) No more disposable ones...lol. We had lunch at this really nice Kagoshima style restaurant. The food was yummy...and at a reasonable price.

Then we went to Harajuku...That was where the fun began...Shopping with girls is so much fun, but very dangerous as well...because girlfriends encourage each other to buy buy buy! Everything was cute, everything was nice, everything was purchaseable!!! So, bought some nice tops and accessories. But the funny thing was when we got back to the hotel and I took out my priced items, I realise I didn't buy that much after all (~o=) Wish I bought more...kekee.

Second day, we went to Tokyo Disneyland...So funny, 26 year olds, behaving like kids and getting really excited over little things. But it's a great place to feel young again. Bought lots of little knik knacks that I really didn't need but you know... impulse buying, dangerous disease. That's how I justify it.

Then last day, we got to the airport 4hours before our plane departed, and did more shopping.

It was def. a shopping trip just for the girls... Loved it loved it loved it.

There are so many different types of people in the world. Everyone's an individual and everyone's style is different. Love yourself for who you are. Have confidence in yourself and always hold your head up high. Smile and enjoy the sunshine~

HUGS

I went out with my friend Ayami for a girly chat over dessert last night. ♥(｡￫v￩｡)♥ We were talking about hugs...I was telling her that I missed my parents' hugs...and she was quite surprised that mum, dad and I hug often.

Hugs, it's a very intimate action. There's a whole range of different types of hugs...The hugs you give to friends whom you haven't seen for a long time. A hug for a friend in need. Hugs for girlfriends...hugs for family members.

The hug that I dislike the most is those half-hearted hugs. I hate it when someone hugs me and they pat my back. I don't like to be patted. If they were to touch my back, I rather them rub it, like in a soothing kind of way. But patting to me does not fit well.

The most special hugs is from a boyfriend. Especially if they're tall enough to wrap you all up from behind. The saddest hug is when a girl hugs a boy from behind, and he doesn't know that there are tears flowing down her face...

Hugs...I hope there's a person for you to hug, someone you don't want to let go.♥(｡￫v￩｡)♥

It's a BOY!!!やった～～（≧∀≦）/

After 41 years without a boy, the Japanese Royal family has been blessed with a boy. The news is so big that since yesterday morning it was the only thing people talked about. The citizens are rejoicing the birth of this child like he's some sort of saviour...but I was just wondering, what does the royal family do for Japan? What does ANY royal family's do for their country??
Doesn't the governement run the country? Does the royal family have a say in the important issues that effect the people of the country??

The way people are referring to this 2 day old baby is with the highest degree of honour and respect. It's amazing to hear this type of Japanese used...everyday people in their own environment will refer to the baby in a very respectful way. Guess that's how it feels when you're born with a gold spoon in your mouth.

On another note, my English conversation class started again last night. It was fun chatting with them. We were talking about SUMMER. Write down six words you relate to summer and why.
My six words were...BBQ; afternoon thunderstorms; fireworks; beach; sweat; HOLIDAYS!!!

Happy birthday Shin-chan~!! やったー！！Ｕ＼(●~▽~●)У

Steve Irwin

Steve Irwin, a name familiar to all. Pulled stunts that has awed and amazed people, but has also being personally attacked for carlessness re.the baby stunt. Now he's no longer with us. How sudden can a life be taken away. One minute he's swimming in the water, and the next he's gone. Life is fragile. You never know what may happen in the next minute. May he rest in peace.

This morning whilst I was sitting in my car getting ready to drive to school, a bus drove past my house. On the bus was an old obachan...we exchanged a smile and a nod. No words exchanged, but it was enough to make a good start to the day.

Do you believe in Karma? Do you believe in that your past life has something to do with your present? And that your present actions will in turn effect the future?

Makes me wonder how I ended up here in Japan? And the great people that I've met, who's life has intertwined into mine, how did that happen? Being here in this little country side has shown me the compassion of human-kind. The smile of strangers walking in the morning, the helpfulness of neighbours, the warmth of caring friends. How can I leave this place without shedding a thousand tears.

School has finally started again. It's been a month and a half since I've seen my nursery school students. The change in their physical form def. surprised me. They've all grown taller, and some a little chubbier. But their bubbling personality and their love and affection for me did not fade one bit. It was so nice to be hugged and kissed by my little ones. They love their Vicky-sensei.

Teaching is a very rewarding profession~Thank you to all the wonderful teachers out there!!!

Sleepless nights~

Another sleepless night...this time I was listening to the rain fall outside my window. Why can't I sleep these days?

I was thinking about my very good friend, F. I've been friends with F since we were 15 years old. We've def. been through some ups and downs. She's been there for me through out all the difficult times that I've had to face, she was there when mum was sick during high school, she was there listening to my problems through out the S-phase, the P-phase and the M-phase. She was even there to see me off when I came to Japan.

But I'm a terrible friend...Last year when I went home she was away with her colleague. On the day she came back from Europe she wanted to meet up with me and V. But I was so rude to her, I told her I've made plans already and that I couldn't see her. She sounded really upset and hurt and just didn't understand why I didn't want to see her. Thinking back now I think I was being very selfish, and for that I apologise. Girls can be so mean and bitchy.

If there was some way, I'd like to take it all back. I'd love to see her and chat to her and hear what she's been up to. I miss my girlfriends. You're never whole without friends in your life...

So, to my dearest friend on your birthday, I'm thinking of you...
Sunshine, today's your birthday, I wish you all the love, laughter and happiness in the world. I do miss you, and I am truely sorry for what I did last year. I love you babes. Happy birthday. xoxo

An Ode to Summer

Today's the last day of Summer vacation..The empty halls will soon with the echoes of children's laughter and their chitter-chatter about what they did over the holidays. So good to be young.

But, I'm feeling kind of blue. For the end of summer means the coming of fall. I love fall, it's romantic, but grey. The nights are getting cooler these days, you need a blanket to keep you warm in bed. There are other needs as well...like wanting to have someone lay beside me and wrap his arms around me and falling asleep peacefully.

Haven't been able to sleep lately, too many things going on in my head. I worry about the smallest things. Lately, it's all about the telephone. I'm scared that the phone might ring and it'll be mum telling me that something bad's happened back home. It's scary because I'm in Japan and there are two old family members in Taiwan and Australia. I know it's not going to happen...but there's always a what if.

I've been scared of the phone ringing at night ever since Grandma passed away.
The phone rang that night when her condition was getting worse. We had to rush to the hospital...we made it in time to be with her when she passed. But, ever since then...

Have you ever seen someone pass away in front of you? See the life slowly draining out of them? See the blood slowly go away from their face? And what's left is just the limpness of their body. They look so peaceful, just like when they're sleeping. But really, they're no longer there. They no longer can feel your touch, see your face, listen to your words...It's all an empty nothing. Where do people's soul go when they're no longer alive? Do you think that they really hover above the ceiling and watch their loved ones cry over their body? In the Buddhist tradition, when someone passes away, you can't cry or call out their names in front of the body. Because it's said to be that the soul is pulling away from the body, and that there is a struggle between the two..and the more loved ones cry over the body, the soul can't move on. And you're not allowed to move the body of the deceased. When Grandma passed away, we had to ask for special permission from the hospital to let us have the bed for 8hours whilst we chanted before moving Grandma to the funeral parlor.

During that 8hours, I never closed my eyes...just sitting there chanting, and looking at her. The rest of the family members took turns in sleeping, but I just couldn't close my eyes. I thought we, and the doctors made some mistake...thought she'd open her eyes and be well again. But even if she did open her eyes, she wouldn't be well. She'd still be suffering. So, it was better to let her go. Till this day, I believe Grandma wasn't ready to go. She couldn't believe she was sick. She was the last person I thought who could get sick. Cancer. How can you tell someone they'll recover from cancer?

When your parent pass away, you no longer have a mum or a dad. That for me is a hard concept to deal with. I can not imagine life without my mum or dad. To lose a grandma was sad, but for my dad it was very tough. He was her favorite child. And to hear him utter the words, "I no longer have a mum" ... it broke my heart into pieces. Grandma passed away in 2003...wow, 3 years has passed already...

Don't know why I chose today to speak so openly about it...The Chinese (and Japanese) believe that the soul comes back home on the 49th day after they pass. On Grandma's 49th day, she did come back. She appeared in my dream, wearing a velvet blue chinese dress, very elegant. Smiling at me...I was telling her that everything will be alright, and just let go. Daddy will be alright as well, and then telling her I love her. I woke up, my pillow was wet. My eyes were wet. Mum told me she saw Grandma in her dream as well. Dad said our dog was howling in the middle of the night. What do you think? Did my grandma come back to say goodbye...

me かわいい～でしょう!!

Can you remember what life was like without computers or the internet? How did people at work use to keep their documents and communicate with people? How did family use to communicate with one another when loved ones lived overseas?

The thought just popped into my mind that's all...no particular reason ~

Last Thursday went to Kumamoto city for the new alts orientation. Met lots of new people. It was nice seeing all those new faces, but really how many will I actually keep in touch with :( One of the neg. for living in the country side I guess?! If I was to travel to the city often there'll be no way I'll have any $$ left...not that I have any now either...Any ideas on how to save $$$

sunburnt

Summer's all about going to the beach with friends, BBQ, hanging out and getting toasted in the sun...That's exactly what I did over the weekend. ﾐ★(*^▽ﾟ)v

Saturday ~I went to a man-made beach with two of my Japanese friends. It was an odd experience... Seagaia is situated in Miyazki, famous for it's beautiful coast line. When my friend asked me to go to the beach in Miyazaki I was thrilled, thinking of the blue, clear water and hot, white sand. But when we arrived at our destination, I was a little bit puzzled. Then I realized the girls didn't really want to go to the beach where they might get a tan (^o^) Seagaia is literally a big swimming pool with different slippery slides situated in different sections of the complex. It also has fake waves rolling in for the little ones. It's completely under cover, so no-one can get sunburnt. The fake sand is made of white pebbles. The changing room is huge, and the shower is clean :)

Sunday ~ Total opposite of Saturday, I went to the "real beach" with Niki and Kim. Our aim was to get tanned so we don't look so pale. I can now say that I have a nice tan and it felt great to be in the salty, slightly fishy smelling water (^__^)

Mid-August, summer is passing by in a flash. Can't really go swimming in the ocean anymore, too many jellyfish floating around. Have to wait to next summer for the beach and floaty's to come out again...but the fireworks are still decorating the night sky.

Bushie left Japan today...still very hard to grasp that concept. Even though we haven't been together for a long time it was still comforting to know that he was in the country, and that I could at least call him if something was really wrong...and now he's left ~ Japan seems to be that little bit empty.

Hitoyoshi - Kuma Gun 2006 - 2007

It's another hot summer's day, but for some of us it's the beginning of a new adventure and the start to a new journey.

My last year of my Japan life has just started. The new fresh faces of our Kuma-gunners has arrived and settling in slowly but surely. This year there will be 15 of us. 7 boys and 8 girls including me. So half half, which is quite balanced, unlike the previous two years, male dominant (^_~)

So weird to think of me as the wise third year...Though I'm not sure how wise I am. I can still remember coming here to Japan 2 years ago not knowing a word of Japanes. My saving grace was Briony. She's such an agel, I still remember the first day I met her at the Asagiri Summer Festival...How fast does time fly, last night, I performed with my dance team at the exact summer festival ~ I love summer festivals. The girls dress in their Yukata (summer kimono) and the kids have a great time catching gold fish and eating fairy-floss. Whilst young teenage couples hold hands and watch the fireworks.

Summer, great season to be alive! Great season to fall in love (^__^)

Summer Vacation

The first week of summer vacation is nearly over, the weather is getting hotter each day, yet the junior high school students still need to go to school everyday for their club activitiy. I've decided to join the Track&Field team. I'm not much of a runner, and I give up pretty easily. But these kids, they're so great, they complain it's hot but still they put in their 100% everyday and run the miles the teacher has set out for them. Amazing really!! I think about the kids back in Sydney, and majority of them just bum their way through summer. Pretty boring and unproductive~

All good things must come to an end...

It comes to that time of the year again where old ALTs will leave and the new ALTs will come in. It's an unavoidable situation when you come to a foreign country. It's especially true for the Jet programme.

I love this programme because you get to meet all different types of people from all over the world. Some people you'd get along with like two peas in a pod, and some...well, might not be your cup of tea. But no matter what, you've all been thrown in the deep end and will depend on each other through out different situations.

365 days in a year... my last leg of the journey will begin next Monday. It will mark the beginning of my third year here in Japan. Anticipation& excitement of what might be in store for this last year. I will make the most of it here.

Time flies so fast...3 years... what have I done? what have I achieved? Where am I going with my life? so many questions, so many uncertainties. When we were little we were asked to make goals for the future or answer the question where can you see yourself in 5 years? I'm at a stage where I can't even see where I will be or what I will be doing in six months, let along one year or 5 years.

25 years old...age of independence, confidence, freedom. In which direction am I heading ->-><-<-

HOT!

Summer has finally arrived in Japan. The weather is sticky and humid. But I love the sunshine and I love how it's still light at 7 at night.

It's that time of the year again where the old ALTs will be departing and the new ALTs will be joining in the force. This year we will have 7 people leaving... All good things must come to an end. It'll be my turn this time next year. How fast does time fly.

winners vs losers

There are always winners and losers in life. My JHS kids participated in their District Softball, Baseball, Badmington, Judo, Tennis and Swimming events over the weekend. For the 9th graders it was their last opportunity as a Junior high school student to shine, win and bring home the trophy. But unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.
Softball girls came close, yet they were beaten 4 - 1. They shouldn't be so disheartened though because they played with all they had. The other team was just stronger. Same went for the baseball boys.
My heart aches when I see them cry though. Poor kids~


It's still raining. pit-a-pat-a pit-a-pat-a...

Rain

The rain won't stop...

12 days till summer vacation. yeah!!!

World Cup Theme. Nikko Hotel - Kumamoto City.This is Mizukami Soccer team's uniform. It's not the Japanese uniform. Don't worry, I'm a true AUSSIE at heart :)

Crazy girls

I had one of the craziest weekend in my time here so far. There are so many advantages living the single carefree life in Japan :p
On Saturday, I had a dance event in Kumamoto city Nikko Hotel. So we drove up to KC and got there around 4:30ish. Then did the opening dance at 6pm. Then waited for an hour before our next dance. The whole show wrapped up at around 8:30 something.
The ALTs were up in Fukuoka watching a baseball game, and then heading out for some dancing afterwards. My friend Eri and I decided we'll go and join them :p So, after the dance finished in Kumamoto, we drove to Fukuoka. We got there around 10:30pm. Parked my car, walked to the club. Danced till 3:50am. Decided we had enough...since we didn't book a hotel room, we hopped back into my car and drove home (^0^) Was too sleepy along the high way, so stopped at a service station along the way home, slept in the car for an hour and a half. Got up at 5:30am. And then drove home. I got home at 9am on Sunday morning. Crawled into bed and didn't get up until 1:00 in the afternoon.
Sunday was spent on the sofa feeeeeling really tired. >_< It was a great weekend. You should try it sometime!!! LoL (^^)v

Aussies lost to Italy...They played their best. Thanks Socceroos. I love Tim Cahill...he's such a hottie.

Manhattan Saturday night.

Shinichirou-san, Vicky and Tomoko-chan

Australia

Congratulations Socceroos!! First time into the final 16 in the World Cup.

I'm a very proud Australian (^^)v

Better Life?

Yesterday I was asked by my town office to do some translation for these two chinese girls who has just come to Mizukami. That makes the total of the Chinese girl population up to 7 now.
So, what's their purpose? Well, they all got married to someone here. These "girls" range between 24 to late 30s. They met their husbands through some wedding consulant agency. The girls had to pay the agents money to come over here. They were telling me it costs quite a lot to come over. And now they're finally here, they don't think it's much. They actually regret coming... So, what made them think that Mizukami was so great in the first place?

I think Mizukami is great because I will only be here for three years. I have a car and access to explore and live my life on this island. But these girls, they're married, with no means of transportation unless their husbands drive them. They don't have the freedom I have because their purpose is to have babies for these men. The girls on the other hand wants money in return. So what kind of relationship is this? or what kind of arrangement have they made this out to be? Why would these girls even consider marrying old, countryside, Japanese men?

Where is the love? How can they sustain the relationship to make it into a lifelong thing? Apparently these girls have to give their husband money every month? I'm not sure how true it is, but that's what one of the girl said.

I do sincerely hope they find love with their husband, if not now, then as they grow old together. This is the life they've chosen, they should just make the most out of the situation. That's my personal opinion.

Bushie will go back home soon. I'm going to miss him.

Empty Promises

Why are there disappointments in life? Was looking forward to meeting up with a friend sometime next week, but something came up and it had to be cancelled. It's unavoidable to have these things happen, but it still dampens my mood. Guess because I knew my friend was going to cancel on me in the first place...and it turned out to be true. Why do I do this to myself? Set myself up for failure and disappointment (>_<) It's been a grey day...

It's the weekend, hopefully it'll be an interesting one.

Hope there are no disappointments in your life.

好想談恋愛~~~

It's been a while since I've actually liked someone. That butterfly in the stomach feeling. That nervousness when you get when you see that person. That longing to be with them. That never want to settle for anything less than za za zu~!

Sometimes I think I may never love again, it feels like I've forgotten how to love.
What is love? How do you know that you've loved?
Reflecting back to my past relationships, have I really been in love? That's what I've been thinking about lately. I want to know~

Really feel like going home today. I miss my family and friends. Don't worry, life is good here, but nothing beats Australia. Home~58weeks.

WORLD CUP

Last night was the Australia vs Japan game.

Aussies won 3-1.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!! OY! OY! OY!

Life's been a bit quiet lately. Nothing much has been happening. I'm experiencing a rare moment in my life where everything is on a flat line. No real ups or downs, just living each day as it is. But at the back of my mind I'm getting this nagging feeling like something BIG's about to happen.
Don't know whether it's my imagination or I really need and want some drama - so there it is :)
Let some dramaaaaa happen.

It's hot today.

Friends~

The importance of friendship~

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.

Chloe~

Have you ever loved someone without ever meeting them?
I have. I'm in love with little Chloe.
She came into our life on the 7th of April. She's a bundle of delight. My cousin Celeste's little girl.
Chloe is so beautiful, she makes the most adorable facial expressions. She's the apple of my eyes.
I'm feeling clucky. I want my own bubba to love...lol But, realistically that won't happen to me for a lonnnng time.

Girl's Softball team. With lots of Champion Flags!! 

School Track&Field team. 

Run boys, run. (^_^)  

The big day!!! Run boys, run. 

My 84 Junior High School students. 

Preparing for our Big Sports Carnival, which was held last weekend. 

Was invited to speak to some Jpanese grandmas and grandpas, in Japanese. First time for everything. It was fun. 

Lately....

This is what I've been up to lately. Practising for our sports festival. Practising for our sports festival. AND practising for our sports festival. Thank goodness it's over now. But, we were practising for our sports festival alright!

The days before the festival, it was raining cats and dogs. But on the day, Mr.Sunshine decided to shower us with his rays, and it was a beautiful day. Actually got sunburnt on that day. Had to work 7 days that week. Very very tiring. Took Monday and Wednesday off just to recover. Oops.

Anyways, posted up some pics of my fabulous kids.

What else is happening in my life? umm. Nothing much. Just been so busy lately with work, friends and events. But nothing too spectacular. Oh, yeah, I've been watching this drama called Prison Break. Very interesting and very intense. But I want to know what happens. I'm such a scaredy cat, because I'm watching PB on my pc, when I think Fish is going to get caught, I pause it just so I can get myself together before the next scene. LoL. Oh well, thus is life in drama land.

Flower vs Gardener

In a realtionship are you a FLOWER or a GARDENER??

I stumbled upon this question when I was watching TV last night, and I thought it was quite interesting.

So, which one am I? Flower is the one being taken care of in a relationship, more of a taker. Gardener is the one taking care of the other person, a giver.

It's hard to be just one and not the other in a relationship because it's not equal, and it's quite selfish and unfair. But in my next relationship, I definitely want to be the FLOWER (in the beginning :p) . I've realised that I have been the gardener in all my past relationships, it's about time to be the flower.

All I've done in the past is give, give and give. I've never asked anything in return, and I know my ex's never asked anything of me. Think it's just a personality thing to give. I get it from mom. To give, requires an understanding, open heart and mind. I'm going to be honest and say that I've become too selfish to be a giver in a relationship. It's just not worth it to give to a guy who's not up to par. What for right?!

What about if someone cheats on you, do you break up and let the relationship go? Or do you hang on and hope that person won't repeat the same offence? I was reading the newspaper yesterday, and in the gossip section. A star has just broken up with her husband of ten years because he cheated on her...It wasn't the first time.
This is my motto: Once a cheater always a cheater!
Why do people cheat in the first place? For the fun and excitement that it brings? Or that humans are not just trustworthy enough?

Trust...what does it mean? Life...what's it all about?

We are the only living thing that kill each other for the sake of killing one another. It's not a survival tact. Sometimes it's just a random act.
Currently in Japan, there has been many incidents with high school students stabbing their peers and parents. It's been brought to the prefectural attention, and they've introduced a new program called "The importance of Life" to the kids at school. How important is your life? How much do you value life? Anyways, just my random rambling on a Friday morning.

I want to go on a holiday in Summer...

Destination>> unknown?
The world is so big, yet there is no place for me ~

乍看之下你再普通也不過

其實內心卻難以捉摸

有些事情是永遠都不能改變的

就像墬入愛河的人們

執著的愛是不容允許介入的

順其自然也是自己給自己的安慰罷了

緣分也只是另一種選擇對或錯的形容

一切的一切都是加諸於自身的理由

但我相信每個人都是落入凡塵的天使

只是還沒找到對的人

只是還沒找到那個能讓自我飛翔的那對翅膀

只是.....

只是...有緣無份

my caffeine addiction

I gave in...I tried not drinking coffee for two days...I ended up with a headache and a feeling that I've hit rock bottom. Thus, I gave in to my coffee addiction. I guess since it's not the worst addiction I might as well enjoy it.

What's your drug?

Celebrating Japanese Boys Day. 

The country life...