I'm Back~

I'm back!!! From a short trip to Taiwan to see my beautiful cousin Celeste get married to a wonderful guy. The wedding was magnificent. She was so pretty, just like a princess. I had an amazing time, catching up with family and friends, and especially my sister. I miss them so much already. My little nephew Derek (cousin's son) he's so adorable, I love him so much...He's the sweetest 4 year old I've ever met. Photos will be posted later.
My other cousin Johnny (SUFFA) is releasing an album in Taiwan with a group named MACHI. Johnny's amazing, finally achieving his dream and goal. I wish him every success.
Came home to an empty house yesterday, mixed feelings when I walked into my house. The feeling of peace and quiet (really missed that when I was in Taiwan) but at the same time, lonliness...After spending a week with family constantly around and talking it was definitely very quiet.
I want to write more about my time in Taiwan but there's something else that's more pressing in my mind.
MB is seeing somebody. It was such a conicidence that I asked him about it when he emailed me the previous day to tell me about it. Guess we're telepathetic (telepathic). To hear that the person you love (loved? - I don't think it's past tense) is seeing somebody it hurts...of course it does, but there's no need for apologies because what's done is done. Do I love him? Yes, I do. Do I miss him, very much so. But, circumstances does not allow it to be. I can't breathe...it's suffocating. Have I gotten over him? In a way I have, but in a way there's always that idea of "what if..." but we can't live life thinking about the "what ifs". Oh my god...I need a hug, I need someone to say that everything will be alright, I want to scream and let out all the furstration...and maybe then I will be ok. I want to hibernate and wait for spring to come.
When I was in Taiwan the main question that was directed at me was..."so, when are you getting married?" Then I would reply that I don't have a boyfriend, and then they'll say "What!! You've broken up with your boyfriend again?" It's not like I've had plenty..and it was never me who initiates these breakups.
Spoke to mum last night and she said that my daddy was wondering when it's his turn to hold his grandchild. Sorry daddy, not for a while yet.
Well, back to Mizukami. It's so cold in Japan. I'm lonely.